Weigh-in: 259.5 no loss or gain.
Sometimes I am more than happy to just stay same.
Weigh-in: 259.5 no loss or gain.
Sometimes I am more than happy to just stay same.
There is something special about a night out with the girls (Vicki, Nikki and Moni). We went to the DTE Music Theater for the 70’s Soul Jam (Nikki got us tickets)– featuring, Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes, The Main Ingredient and The Stylistics.
There was construction, bad traffic, blah, blah, blah, and so we were late and missed Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes. But, The Main Ingredient were delightful. Ah, the memories those songs bring back. And, the Stylistics were positively excellent, they really knew how to put on a show. Those guys still have all the moves, they danced, they sang, they threw down.
It was a beautiful summer night, and we sang along very badly and had the most wonderful time. We may not sing well, but we know how to have a good time.
We usually plan on having dinner at the restaurant at the theater before we go to the concert, but we knew that we wouldn’t have time for that. We didn’t even have snacks. This was difficult for me because the fries were calling to me. But, I was brave and did not heed that call. Okay a little overly dramatic but I am proud that I chose to ignore the urge to fall face first in the fries. I did have one of those wonderful high priced fresh lemonade though. It was refreshing and sweet enough to suffice as a dessert for the night.
Since it was Sunday night and, we ALL had to go to work the next day we called it an evening right after the concert and headed home.
I knew what to expect today based on the eating patterns that my journal reflects.
Weigh-in: 259.5 a gain of 4 lbs.
I know that as long as I continue to journal, drink water and weigh-in that I will get back on track. If I allow myself to be discouraged by gaining I will just quit. Weighing-in and journaling makes me aware of and accountable for my choices, and will inspire me to make better choices to meet my goals.
Goal for next week 1lbs.
I’ve been journaling on pages from a pad and keeping them in a folder. I’ve been journaling what I have been eating and what I have eaten over the last week has not been good in terms of losing weight. I kind of know what to expect tomorrow because I have been eating mostly health foods but I’ve also had cake and today I pigged out.
After congratulating myself on not eating to deal with my feeling about Doug, I go and have an anxiety attack today and stuff myself.
I woke up this morning almost hyperventilating, because I knew the doctor was coming today to see my Mom and she would not let me bath her last night to get ready. I knew I’d better get up and get to work getting her ready this morning. My chest was tight but I took a couple of puffs on my inhaler rested a few minutes and got started. I was in tears I don’t know why it bothers me sometime so much more that others. But this morning it just felt like getting Mom bathed was an over-whelming, insurmountable feet.
Don’t get me wrong my Mom is the sweetest little old lady; she just gives me the blues. I guess just because she can. She rarely gives my Brother a hard time.
I was so upset when I woke up that I had decided to stay home from work. I got Mom ready, she would only let me wash her up though, no bath for her. Changed her bed then gave her breakfast. The anxiety subsided for the most part so, I got myself ready and I was able to go to work.
The only thing is though that when I got home tonight, I wanted to eat everything that was not tied down. Up comes the feelings again, I had buried my anxiety long enough to work and get back home. I thought I had dealt with it but obviously not. I gave in I had White Castle and if that was not enough I decide that I need some healing Carmel Cake. Not a wise choice but I have to admit that I feel much better now.
I’m not quite sure how I feel. Last Thursday night the man I have been dating for five+ years kicked me to the curb. (I’m sure I could have said that more delicately but it is what it is).
I have very mixed feelings, I love him and miss him, and I can’t turn my feelings off like a faucet. However, a part of me is relieved because the few points of disagreement that we do have, has created a lot of tension between us and it has been draining.
I’m using enough energy taking care of my Mom. (Mom lives with me and is 88 and has Alzheimer’s but is in good health) Our time together was most often fun, but sometimes trying to meet everyone’s needs and make everyone happy was exhausting.
It’s ME time now. I guess that is what Saturday night was about. Lisa said she was going to get me out of the house to celebrate my birthday (belated but who cares a celebration is a celebration) and keep me from moping around. The funny this is I didn’t feel like moping the day after it happened I was sort of numb and looking forward to the night out.
The success is that although I have all of these feeling going on I really don’t have a desire to drown them in food. That is a big success because in the past that is how I coped with emotion, stuffing myself and not dealing with the feelings.
The thing is I know it is not over between us, but this break-up has given me a lot to think about and the time to think about it.
I don’t go out often but, I went out last night and I had SO MUCH FUN!
First we went to dinner at Vicente’s a Cuban restaurant on Library near Harmony Park. We sat next to the salt-water fish tank and amused ourselves by naming all of the fish (we are easily amused). We had a very nice salad and Tapas that were delicious. Then since we were celebrating we had cake for dessert. It wasn’t the best cake it was soaked in 3 kinds of milk so it was tasty but soggy. For me it was just fine since cake is only made to hold icing, I enjoyed the icing.
Then we went to Bert’s Marketplace in Eastern Market to see our old friend Harold Bowles. Harold gave us the grand tour of the whole complex. The place doesn’t look like it but it is huge. He showed us Bert’s Motown Lounge and Bert’s Warehouse Theater that host’s musical acts as well as boxing. Also, as it happens my friend Mike Brock was singing that night. He is a funny guy and an excellent entertainer; it was good to see him. I haven’t seen Mike in a long time; he worked for me years ago when I ran a recreation department.
We ended the evening at the Rhinoceros in Harmony Park. We were hoping for dancing, but there was no one dancing Saturday night and Lisa could not convince David to get the dancing started by dancing with her. The vocalist were exceptional, we stayed till they ended a set around 1:00 a.m.
Going out for the night and having fun, what a concept, I used to live for the weekend. Now a night out is a special event I’ve GOT to get out more, MUCH-MUCH more.
Saying that I’ve got to walk before I run is an understatement, right now I’ve got to crawl before I can walk. Walking used to be so easy for me but I am having the hardest time getting started. As for the running, that is just an expression I’m not doing any running any time soon.
Tuesday I walked, Wednesday my legs were aching so no walking. Yesterday the weather was perfect, sunny and not too hot. I didn’t take my walking gear to work, but I considered going to the river and walking for 20 to 30 minutes in my work clothes. I decided to go home, change into my walking clothes and go to the track thinking the asphalt would be a little easier on my legs. I should have just gone to the river after work because, when I got home walking went right out the window, I could not motivate myself to get out of the house.
I woke up this morning thinking there will be walking TODAY. The first thing I did this morning was to pack my walking gear to be sure I had no excuses. Although I changed into my walking clothes at work, by the time I got to my car, my motivation was gone, I wanted to go home. I talked to myself all of the way there. “You need to walk today.” “Yeah, tough I don’t want to walk I’m tired now.” “You’ve got to walk if you want to make some progress.” “Progress my butt.” Blah, blah, blah, on the self-discussion went all of the way home.
I didn’t go home though, I went directly to the track. Today I stretched first, I skipped stretching the last few times I walked and that could explain some of the stiffness and aching. I did a nice easy 20-minute walk on the track. I felt great when I finished. If I’m still feeling great I’m going to walk again tomorrow.
It is weigh-in day; wow they sneak up on you fast don’t they. As I think about those chips I ate while traveling I get on the scale with my fingers crossed.
Weigh-in: 255.5 a loss of 3 lbs.
I was hoping I would lose at least lose one pound. I’ve learned to set small goals because the success of a small goal inspires me, and gives me the momentum I need to stay on track for the following week. This small 3 lbs. success is a big deal and makes a big difference. I am really starting to feel good about my progress. I’ve got a long way to go but, I know I can get there one pound at a time.
Losing consistently VERY is important to me right now. I would like to establish a consistent downward trend. My goal for the next four weeks is to lose 1/2 lb. to 1 lb. each week. Of course I would like to lose more. I can’t tell you how much I would love to lose four or five pounds per week until I get below 200, but I know that is unrealistic and unreasonable. So, I will happily plod along slowly as long as I’m inching my way down.
I went to Canada for the weekend with the aforementioned best friend & cousin Lisa. We were off to Sauble Beach and Echo Bay, Ontario for the Emancipation Celebration and her Family Reunion. Highway construction and detours turned a nice four-hour drive into a seven-hour comedy of errors. You must understand that from our point of view we are never lost; we are merely on an “Adventure”. We were together that is all that really mattered.
When we got there we couldn’t get it touch with anyone to let us in the cabin or direct us to the location of the celebration in Echo Bay. (Lisa someone left the flyer with the information back in Detroit) We had arrived, but we weren’t sure where to go. We walked up and down Main Street in Sauble Beach and enjoyed checking out all the shops, while trying to contact someone – anyone by cell phone. Then we decided to head to Echo Bay which is about a 20-25 minute drive, to see whether we could find the Celebration. Let’s just say that didn’t work out so well for the home team either. Long story short we left Detroit around 11:00 a.m. and we got in contact with the cousins around 11:00 p.m. Everyone was so kind and gracious, once we connected with them. They took pity on us and fed us – er, well Me, Lisa is a vegan and chili wasn’t working for her. We finally got a good night sleep and had a blast the next day, which was much too short, because the next thing we knew we were in the car heading back to Detroit. The ride back was enjoyable and uneventful up until the time we spent almost an hour waiting to get across the Blue Water Bridge.
Water
When we left Saturday, I thought that travel would not be compatible with drinking 90+ ounce of per day, as I have been doing for the past few weeks. So I drank very little water on the road, but my body didn’t get the e-mail because I still felt like had to pee all the time. I’d go to the bathroom and there would be almost nothing. It would have been better to drink the water, which is what I did the next day.
Food
I had a light breakfast Saturday morning, a Nectarine and a couple of bites of left over Thai food. We stopped to get water, and I bought some raisins nut trail-mix and I heard this small voice calling to me; it was a bag of kettle style potato chips on the other side of the isle. I got a little closer, and the bag leaped into my arms, I was totally defenseless… OK, OK the bag did call to me but I made the choice to buy them. Early evening we stopped for Middle Eastern food, the combo plate with falafel, tabbouleh and hommous, a healthy and delicious choice. Late that night I had a very small bowl of chili at the cousins house. Sunday we had breakfast, for me eggs, bacon, toast and OJ. We had wonderful fresh homemade salsa and chips at the cousins house before we hit the road. There was a big BBQ in the works but we left long before the food was ready. We stopped at McDonald’s to go to the bathroom and decided to buy salads, but we were not really hungry then, so the plan was to stop for salad later. We never got around to it and somewhere close to home I got hungry and dived into that bag of chips.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and this was a beautiful little road trip with my Cuz’. Lisa has not been to Detroit for four years, I could not believe it had been that long when she told me. It seemed like maybe two because we talk by phone all the time. Thank goodness for unlimited talk time. I miss her company, her humor, her honesty, her energy, I miss seeing her on a regular basis, knowing that when we are together we always have great adventures.