January 17th, 2009
I’m not doing anything about my weight loss today, but I’m thinking about it.
Thinking about being healthy, thinking about a point in time when I don’t smooth the rough edges of life with food. Thinking about eating well and exercising regularly, about feeling better and breathing better. Thinking about a day when living a healthy life is as natural as breathing. That is my idea of perfection at this moment.
In the meantime, while I was doing all of that high quality thinking I was eating the hell out of some cookies. I ate them – I ate them until I didn’t want anymore. The craving is over with for the moment. I’m not vowing to stop eating cookies. That sounds good on paper, but reality dictates that I plan my treats and make them small portions, so that I can control them, and they won’t control me.
Category: Food/Eating, Stress Eating, Weight Loss Tagged: Cookies, Healthy Eating, Weight Loss No Comments »
January 15th, 2009
I admit it I want the cookies, and I want them SO badly. I have Hershey bars and Reese’s cups that I keep for my Mom. I have no interest in them at all, I want cookies, must have vanilla sugar wafer cookies, NOW!
I called my friend Angie for an intervention; she talked me down from the edge of the cookie jar. I WANT them SO BAD; I am craving sugar.
I’ve made the choice not to eat them, but I have to say that cookies are all I can think about. They are calling to me, and I am ignoring the call.
Angie even followed up and called me later in the evening to encourage me to ignore the power of the cookies. What would a Woman do without her girlfriends?
Category: Food/Eating, Stress Eating Tagged: Cookies, Craving, Girlfriends, Intervention No Comments »
January 14th, 2009
I was passing the full-length mirror in the bathroom at work and thought, “Who’s butt was that?” It gave me pause, I know that it had to be MY reflection, but that was not the butt I saw the last time I looked.
There have been a LOT of stressful things going on in my life and I haven’t put any effort into losing weight or exercising in the past 3 months, and a bigger butt is my reward.
I can’t handle the reality of that reflection; I am really going to have to get to work. Monday, I start journaling.
Category: Motivation, Stress Eating, Weight Loss Tagged: Bigger Butt, Journaling, Stress 1 Comment »
December 1st, 2008
Sometimes you have to just breath and let life happen. So much has been going on, relationships, family, and other responsibilities, but now I am focusing on myself. I’m focusing on what will make me healthier and happier. Although this is my first post in quite a while I started weighing-in again last month. I have been slowly losing, I even lost during the Thanksgiving Holiday. To be fair I was a little under the weather and not very interested in food, whatever, I’m losing and happy about it.
Category: Weigh-in, Weight Loss Tagged: Life Happens, Weigh-ins, Weight Loss No Comments »
September 22nd, 2008
I stopped posting regularly about a month ago, and I have come to realize that I have a heck of lot more to say when I’m happy and things are going well, then when I’m not and things are going to Hell in a hand basket.
I’ll write when I can but right now life is happening and just have to let things unfold.
Category: Feelings No Comments »
September 21st, 2008
Spring and fall are difficult seasons for my Asthma. 45 degrees in the morning and 75-80 in the evening, gives my lungs a fit. I’ve been doing all of my usual preventative measures but, the last week I’ve been swinging between good and not so good and it seems not good has won. Then there comes a point when I have to throw in the towel and break down and call the doctor and face the dreaded steroids to get better.
I visited the doctor’s office – wonderful woman was subbing for my Doctor. Normally she sees pediatric patients. She explained things clearly and patiently; I felt better just talking to her. I left feeling confident that the combination of her instructions and the prescription she gave me would have me feeling better in no time.
It was a beautiful sunny day and the sunshine began to lift my spirits and set the tone for the day. I was cruising up Woodward on the way to the doctor’s office trying not feel crappy and crabby, then Eureka I notice that the Ferndale Art Fair is in progress, Hot Damn! I Love and Art Fair! The day is definitely looking up. I determine that I will have to stop on my way back no matter how I feel.
On the way back I find a great parking space, then stopped in the Natural Food Patch to treat myself to some wonderful Odwalla orange juice. I they had only a small one so I grabbed it and slowly walked out the front to into the fair wheezing all the way. I just kept reminding myself that I could do this if I walked slowly.
I have to admit I can’t remember the last time that I had so much fun. I felt like my old self. I browsed and bought a small print, and a small magnet. I saw one of my sons’ friends selling her jewelry. It was a pleasure to see her; I had no idea that she was an artist.
I also put a watercolor on lay-away with Susan Hamedy – I love her work I own several other of her pieces. It was so good to see her. She was one of my inspirations when I went back to school to complete my degree. We are going to talk later, and I am going to build her a kick-ass website for her.
I really needed this boost, being surrounded by all of that creative energy was invigorating – as miserable as I was feeling my mind was bursting with ideas. I felt as if my whole body were humming with creativity.
Category: Asthma, Feelings, Steroids Tagged: Art Fair, Asthma, Steroids No Comments »
August 20th, 2008
Weigh-in: 259.5 no loss or gain.
Sometimes I am more than happy to just stay same.
Category: Weigh-in Tagged: Weigh-in No Comments »
August 18th, 2008
There is something special about a night out with the girls (Vicki, Nikki and Moni). We went to the DTE Music Theater for the 70’s Soul Jam (Nikki got us tickets)– featuring, Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes, The Main Ingredient and The Stylistics.
There was construction, bad traffic, blah, blah, blah, and so we were late and missed Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes. But, The Main Ingredient were delightful. Ah, the memories those songs bring back. And, the Stylistics were positively excellent, they really knew how to put on a show. Those guys still have all the moves, they danced, they sang, they threw down.
It was a beautiful summer night, and we sang along very badly and had the most wonderful time. We may not sing well, but we know how to have a good time.
We usually plan on having dinner at the restaurant at the theater before we go to the concert, but we knew that we wouldn’t have time for that. We didn’t even have snacks. This was difficult for me because the fries were calling to me. But, I was brave and did not heed that call. Okay a little overly dramatic but I am proud that I chose to ignore the urge to fall face first in the fries. I did have one of those wonderful high priced fresh lemonade though. It was refreshing and sweet enough to suffice as a dessert for the night.
Since it was Sunday night and, we ALL had to go to work the next day we called it an evening right after the concert and headed home.
Category: Asthma, Food/Eating, Walking No Comments »
August 13th, 2008
I knew what to expect today based on the eating patterns that my journal reflects.
Weigh-in: 259.5 a gain of 4 lbs.
I know that as long as I continue to journal, drink water and weigh-in that I will get back on track. If I allow myself to be discouraged by gaining I will just quit. Weighing-in and journaling makes me aware of and accountable for my choices, and will inspire me to make better choices to meet my goals.
Goal for next week 1lbs.
Category: Goals, Journaling, Motivation, Weigh-in Tagged: discouraged, Journaling, Weigh-in, weight gain No Comments »
August 12th, 2008
I’ve been journaling on pages from a pad and keeping them in a folder. I’ve been journaling what I have been eating and what I have eaten over the last week has not been good in terms of losing weight. I kind of know what to expect tomorrow because I have been eating mostly health foods but I’ve also had cake and today I pigged out.
After congratulating myself on not eating to deal with my feeling about Doug, I go and have an anxiety attack today and stuff myself.
I woke up this morning almost hyperventilating, because I knew the doctor was coming today to see my Mom and she would not let me bath her last night to get ready. I knew I’d better get up and get to work getting her ready this morning. My chest was tight but I took a couple of puffs on my inhaler rested a few minutes and got started. I was in tears I don’t know why it bothers me sometime so much more that others. But this morning it just felt like getting Mom bathed was an over-whelming, insurmountable feet.
Don’t get me wrong my Mom is the sweetest little old lady; she just gives me the blues. I guess just because she can. She rarely gives my Brother a hard time.
I was so upset when I woke up that I had decided to stay home from work. I got Mom ready, she would only let me wash her up though, no bath for her. Changed her bed then gave her breakfast. The anxiety subsided for the most part so, I got myself ready and I was able to go to work.
The only thing is though that when I got home tonight, I wanted to eat everything that was not tied down. Up comes the feelings again, I had buried my anxiety long enough to work and get back home. I thought I had dealt with it but obviously not. I gave in I had White Castle and if that was not enough I decide that I need some healing Carmel Cake. Not a wise choice but I have to admit that I feel much better now.
Category: Feelings, Food/Eating, Journaling, Stress Eating Tagged: anxiety, Journaling, Stress Eating No Comments »